Well, I could've told you that.

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale [sic] wraps around his body 5 times.

The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Fifth Level of Hell!

Fifth Level of Hell

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The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

All in all, I think I end up doing pretty well for myself. I'm in a river (and not even a river of fire, at that), and I get to tear people with my teeth. What's not to like? Granted, this is assuming I'm more wrathful than gloomy, which is debatable, but hey, I'll risk it.

But what up with gender being a test question?

Today I discovered that you can make a decent hors d'oeuvres out of Alouette spreadable cheese and Hormel pepperoni. I favor either the Spinach and Artichoke or Sundried Tomato and Basil varieties of the Alouette.

Is anyone else put off by the fact that we'll be through with half the decade in a matter of days?